i am beginning to wonder whether me and dave are going to survive this holiday.

he is so vague on the phone. i don't think he realises how much i love him, and miss him. i need him to tell me he loves me, by himself, without me saying it first, and he won't. he just refuses.

*beep*

ooOoOOo, he just text me, this is what it said...hey im in the pub with alex and will. gonna stay here for the afternoon then go home. love u.

but this isn't enough for me. i don't want to tell him to say nice things to me, it makes them not as real. i want him to know that i need love and affection. if i try and ask him for it, he goes all funny, and gets in a moody.

i'm going to text him back:

pub eh?makes a change ;) hav fun.i might go to pub 2nite, im feeling a bit lonely :( *needs nice things* :P tb?k

actually, i think that sounds a little, clingy, and i'm going to be really upset if he doesn't text back. how about this;

hav fun.i might go2pub 2nite,feelin a bit lonely:( *needs nice things*um...i might fone u later is that ok?kxTB!

well, i have sent it now, so there nowt much that can be done.

*waits hopefully for a reply*

i'm so hungry, but if i eat, i might chuck. i have only eaten a quarter of a slice of cake in two days.

*still waiting*

i don't know whether i should go out tonight, because i was so ill yesterday. on the one hand, if i don't i won't see my friends for ages, not at least till june, because i am going to stay with my gran, then going straight back to uni. but i have no money and i feel ill :( *what to do*

okay, i don't think he is going to reply. :(

katie